The 8 Types of Breakups Every Woman Must Go Through in Her Lifetime

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The 8 Types of Breakups Every Woman Must Go Through in Her Lifetime

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They say breaking up is hard to do, and we couldn’t agree more. Everyone has at least one tragic, hilarious, and/or awkward breakup story to tell. These oftentimes painful experiences are more universal than you might think. We’ve broken down eight common splitting up experiences. Maybe you’ve experienced one...or, oof, all eight of them.

1. The Text-Message Termination

If you’ve dated in the 2000s, chances are this has happened to you (or you’ve done it to someone else). Let’s be honest; sometimes it’s a relief—you might have been feeling the same way but were unable to bring yourself to have that awkward voice-to-voice conversation. Other times, it can feel like a punch in the gut. This one can also be called the, “I don’t really owe you anything” breakup or the “We just had sex once, and I have no interest in doing it again” severing of ties.

 2. The Ghost

Also known as the disappearing act. Maybe the only thing worse than being dumped by text is not being properly dumped at all! Most people would rather hear a “no” than nothing. “Ghosting” is the unofficial term for this maneuver. Cut your losses and move on, but whatever you do, no follow up “making sure you got this” messages.

3. The Quick Goodbye

This is the polar opposite of the oldest trick in the book (leaving something so you have an excuse to see them again). This kind of breakup says, “I’m so over this, I’m willing to never see that helmet I left in your trunk again.” Or you finally work up the courage to end things, and he reminds you that he still has that book you loaned him. Having no interest in bringing any more face time into this dead end, you tell him to consider it a parting gift. Then you immediately block him on Facebook.

4. The Pubic Display of Dissatisfaction

This is the worst. It’s done on neutral ground so nobody feels comfortable having an emotional reaction. What are you going to do? Have a meltdown over your skinny latte at the local Starbucks? The good news is there is sugar at your immediate disposal to numb the pain right after your former lover bids you adieu.

5. The Ill-Timed Ending

Would you rather they had waited until after Christmas passed and then maybe New Year's, okay, Valentine's Day? Because that could go on forever. There is always some sort of special occasion looming, so if you don’t do it sooner or later, you’ll find yourself justifying your inaction with crazy logic. “Well, I can’t break up with him now, Flag Day is next week, and his sister’s anniversary is the week after that—what sort of monster am I?” It’s a rabbit hole no one wants to go down.

6. The BFF Betrayal

Ouch. This one stings. It may sound like a plot for a generic romantic comedy, but it can happen in real life. How do you get through it? Depending on how deep into the relationship you were, you could be looking at the loss of a lover and a gal pal. Or maybe you felt like he’d be better for her all along! In that case, high five, matchmaker.

7. The Slow Fade

Come on, we’ve all been guilty of the fade out. One or both of you aren’t really feeling the chemistry, but no one wants to admit it. So you keep trudging it out until one day your conversation becomes, “When are we hanging out again?” “Some time soon!” and other vague promises until you both give up trying. Galloping into the sunset on horseback optional.

8. The “Things are Just Really Crazy Right Now..."

This is an updated version of, “It’s not you, it’s me.” Often doled out by someone too afraid to utter, “I’m just not that into you,” the I’m-too-busy-for-a-relationship card is a favorite among the emotionally unavailable and the intimacy-phobic. We’re usually all better off without this person, but it can still be hard to swallow at the time.


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Why Women Love Bad Boys—and How to Be One

Why Women Love Bad Boys—and How to Be One

You're polite. Thoughtful. Considerate. And boring! But your rough side might rub her the right way







You know a rebel when you see one. And so does she.

In a recent Australian study, researchers discovered that men who ignore rules are more desirable to women.





“Nonconformity suggests qualities that women typically find attractive, like risk taking and assertiveness,” notes study author Matthew Hornsey, Ph.D. “It communicates authenticity, which in an image-obsessed world has become a rare and valuable commodity.”

Translation: Faking it won’t work. So read on to tap into your true rebellious side. More sex, hotter sex, so-adventurous-it’s-barely-legal sex awaits.

Related: How to Pleasure a Woman—the Complete Guide to Becoming a Master Lover!

Make Her Look

Walk into any bar on a Friday night, and you’ll swim in a sea of gingham.

Guys can be risk-averse: “We’re pack animals—we’re programmed to play it safe and follow the crowd,” Hornsey says. “But part of being an adult is knowing when to fit in and when to stand out.”

So rather than blend in with the rest of your wolf pack, reach into your closet for a look that’ll turn you into the alpha dog.

Your Rebellion:

Add one edgy item to every outfit.

For instance, start with a black blazer and a white T-shirt, says Men’s Health fashion director Sandra Nygaard, and pair them with slightly distressed jeans to create contrast and interest.

Other ways to apply this principle: Trade a wristwatch for a leather cuff. Mix a leather jacket with a dressy shirt. Pair boots with a suit, sneakers with dress pants, or dress brogues with jeans. And switch out your cologne for something with a more earthy scent, such as patchouli.

Related: How to Approach a Woman at a Bar

Come On a Little Stronger

It’s obvious when you secretly hope something better will come along. Take online dating: Many guys flirt for days if not weeks before finally making plans.

“Men cast a wide net on these apps and sites, but it’s not always obvious when they’re actually interested,” says Paulette Sherman, Psy.D., a psychologist and relationship coach. “Making a first move quickly shows that you’re assertive and confident.”

Plus, it sends a message that you’re not playing the field.

Your Rebellion:

Skip to the best part. Apps like HowAboutWe and Tinder are meant for meeting up instantly, so embrace them.

You might be surprised by how receptive she is, as long as you pick a safe, public place, Sherman says.

“It’s a relief to find out if there’s chemistry right away,” she says. “A man who drags things out can seem weak because his actions don’t support his words.”

Be straightforward in your pitch, and avoid a big-time commitment. Aim for confident with a dash of boldness. Try something like: “I want to buy you a drink. Tomorrow. You game?”

Related: 9 Ridiculously Easy Ways to Be More Confident with Women

 Lower Your Fear Factor

Men often play it safe because the potential for awkwardness and rejection is so high, says Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D., a relationship and family therapist.

“When we experience fear, the primitive part of our brain causes us to steer clear of danger,” Hokemeyer says.

So treat boldness like a muscle you need to exercise as often as you do your quads, says Hornsey. “Practice being different. Let the potential for embarrassment wash over you, and eventually you’ll realize it’s okay.”

Related: What to Do When a Woman Doesn’t Like You

Your Rebellion:

Demonstrate fearlessness in ways she’ll never forget: Hop the fence some night to go skinny-dipping at the local pool, or have sex in your office after hours.

Even little moments can leave a deep impression, says MH sex advisor Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., who recalls the way a man once flirted with her on a plane.

“After we’d been talking awhile, he got up to use the restroom,” Herbenick says. “He took off his headphones and slipped them over my ears without even asking. It was bold and sexy, and it’s never left me. If I hadn’t had a boyfriend, I would’ve said yes when he asked me out.”

Declare War on Boredom

Most people are prone to falling into dating routines, says Dan Ariely, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Duke University and the author of Predictably Irrational.

That’s just the way we’re built. And over time, these outings become less satisfying.

“Our brains quickly adapt to things, and then we don’t react as strongly to the triggers. They become a form of white noise,” Ariely says.

But when you and your date are sharing a new experience, there’s a spirit of adventure that naturally makes you seem more excited, he says. And that positive energy could rub off on your relationship.

Your Rebellion:

Three words: restaurant bathroom sex, says Herbenick.

Related: How to Have Sex in an Airplane Bathroom and Other Adventurous Places

“Duck into a closet or bathroom with her and slip off her underwear,” she suggests.

There’s a good chance she’ll enjoy shaking things up. A 2013 survey by the sex info site Good in Bed found that 28 percent of women were bored in their relationships, and another 25 percent were on the “brink” of boredom.

If the restroom stall at Olive Garden fails to rev things up, you could go simpler: On your next airline flight, drape a blanket across your laps and engage in some playful fondling, suggests Herbenick, whose air travel adventures are apparently more interesting than ours.

See how close you can get each other to climax—without actually arriving there. Save that for the hotel room shower after you check in.



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The Best Sex Positions For Your 30s, 40s, 50s, And 60s

The Best Sex Positions For Your 30s, 40s, 50s, And 60s

  

Like red wine and a fine cheddar cheese, certain things just get better with age. That said, you may not be able to pretzel yourself into the same sexual positions you could at 20. Or maybe you can, but not without some element of risk.

Maybe risk is part of the appeal. But if you're more concerned with safe sex—the kind that won't lead to embarrassing ER visits—here are some suggested sex positions for every decade of life.
 

Your 30s

About 25% of pregnant women experience pain around their pelvis, and roughly 8% are still dealing with it 2 years post pregnancy, U.K. research shows. This often springs from "sacroiliac joint pain"—a discomfort around your sacrum (located at the base of your spine) and the iliac bones (the two large bones that make up your pelvis), explains Isa Herrera, a physical therapist at Renew Physical Therapy in New York. As a result, many women in their 30s experience pain when attempting certain sexual positions. To avoid this pain, Herrera recommends an oldie but goodie: sex on all fours. "Since your hands and knees are on the floor or bed, it keeps your pelvis neutral," she explains.

MORE: 3 Best Sex Positions For Back Pain

Even if pelvic pain isn't an issue for you, sensitivity below the belt is common—especially if you've recently delivered. "Your nether regions will still be sore and tender, and your back may still hurt," Herrera says. She recommends a "spooning position," where you lie side by side with your partner, either facing each other or in the same direction. It's great for new moms who are still tender because it allows a woman to control the speed and depth of penetration, points out NYC sex therapist Amy Levine.

Your 40s

Cases of sciatica—pain in your lower back or hip that travels down through each of your legs—tend to first pop up in your 30s and 40s, according to the American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons. (Try one of these 6 stretches that relieve sciatic pain.) The two best positions for this are, you guessed it, spooning and all-fours, both of which take pressure off of the sciatic nerve, says Natalie Sidorkewicz, a doctoral researcher at Canada's University of Waterloo who published a study on this very topic in 2014. But if you're feeling more adventurous, Herrera recommends “reverse cowgirl." Have your partner lie on his back, and sit on top of him with your back to his face. But “don't lean forward, which can aggravate pain," she notes.

MORE: 5 Reasons Why Sex Is Better In Your 40s

You can also try the "flatiron" variation of the all-fours position: Lie facedown, knees slightly bent and hips slightly raised (so your butt is in the air), with a pillow under your chest for support. "This keeps your spine neutral, which will help ward off pain," Herrera says.

MORE: 10 Moves To Tone Your Waist, Legs, And Butt—While Keeping Your Gorgeous Curves

Your 50s

Throughout menopause, the drop in estrogen may make sex more painful, thanks to dryness and thinning of vaginal tissue. You're also more likely to develop "pelvic prolapse," when a pelvic organ like your bladder drops from its normal place and pushes against your vagina, Herrera explains. Try a sitting position where you're facing your partner and perched on his lap, so you can ease onto his penis very gently. Once you're comfortable, you can control the movement to make it as rough or as gentle as you'd like. (Get your sex life back after menopause and beat weight gain with The Natural Menopause Solution.)

Another option is to lie on your back with a pillow underneath your hips and thighs to open up your pelvis and vagina for easier entry. (It also provides a little extra cushioning if your bones and joints are starting to get a wee bit achy.)

MORE: 7 Weird Things You Didn't Know About Your Vagina (But Definitely Should!)

Your 60s

About a third of men and women in their 60s suffer from osteoarthritis, according to the CDC. If that's the case for you, positions that put a lot of pressure on your knees or hips—like all-fours or cowgirl—are out, says NYC physical therapist Lynn Berman. "I try to encourage my patients to stand, which eases pressure on joints and also helps strengthen their bones," he says. Try standing with your back facing your partner as he enters you from behind. (Rest your arms on furniture for support and balance.)

If you're suffering from back pain—either from spinal osteoarthritis or a condition known as spinal stenosis—then your pain probably worsens when you arch your back or lie on your stomach. In this case, the missionary position with low-back support from a pillow is best, Sidorkewicz says. Straddling your partner works well, too, since you're controlling the movement. "Instead of using your spine to roll your pelvis, use your knees and hips," Sidorkewicz advises.


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